Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Video Game Tribute #12 – Sim Ant

In all my reminiscing of the NES oldies and common classics, I forgot about this little gem which most likely slipped under the radar of a lot of casual gamers in the 90's. I think we've all at least heard of Sim City, an old computer classic from 1989 and maybe even the more popular "The Sims" from 2000 on... For a good while Maxis' famed "Sim" games were on top of the world. There was Sim Life, Sim Earth, Sim Park, and about 6 different versions of Sim City... But there was one Sim game which will always stand out as the greatest and most unique of the Sim Franchise... Sim Ant.

What's "Sim Ant" you say? Exactly what it sounds like... An Ant Simulation video game. When I first heard of it, I couldn't fathom the possibilities of controlling the mighty Ant Kingdom... But man, oh man, was I in for a treat. The game begins with the hatching of a lone ant at the side of his (her? Do ants really have genders? You can get ants in your pants, but what do ants have in their pants??) mighty Queen (oh, Queen... maybe they do have a gender). What's unique about this ant is that he's yellow... I honestly have no idea what the logic was here other than you needed to distinguish the main ant from the others. From here you go and gather food for the queen, you leave the ant hill, get these little green pebbles, and bring them back to the hill... Wow, so epic. You know nothing!!! You think just getting a green pebble is easy for an ant?? Try getting that pebble when you have giant spiders chasing you, stupid kids mowing their lawn right over your precious ant-country, pillbugs hiding in what you think is an ant hill but NO, it's no ant hill it's a big bug that eats you!! And all you wanted to do was feed your queen!! But it doesn't stop there, there's an even greater threat... competition. The confederate forces of the Red Ants. Not sure that they're confederate... More like communists. Though I think the Cold War was over by the time this game came out, so I guess they're just fire ants. Not as exciting.

All I'm sayin' is, Sim Ant is the most epic portrayal of Ant Life that I have ever witnessed/interacted with in my entire life. It's the Braveheart of the ant world. You're a yellow William Wallace... Or a Black William Wallace... You're technically running the black colony... You know now that I think about it, this game may have more to do with race than it does politics. Yikes. But I'm not gonna' go there. All these ants really want is FREEEDDDOOOMMMM!!!!!

Ants in your pants? No...

Scottish Warlords in your pants.
~ Mark


  1. Hehe, it was epic, wasn't it? (Unfortunately it left my sister and me with crippling arachnophobia. Mine eventually got somewhat better when I had to go to college in Oklahoma, where it would literally rain baby spiders in the springtime. My sister is still terrified of all spiders.)

    Oh, and about ant genders...I think the way it works is queens are anatomically correct females, drones are anatomically correct males, and all the others are genetically female with Barbie doll anatomy. o.0;

    Sorry to ramble!


  2. Haha, yeah, I have it pretty bad too when it comes to spiders. Although my fear came from trying to squish one when I was little only to see a gazillion baby spiders fly out in every direction from the Spider's back. I guess it was a mom, but it was like something out of a scifi horror flick. Sorry to hear about you and your sis though. I remember when I was in college my dorm room got infested with little spiders. It was a nightmare.

    Ant Drone Barbie, I should try and sell that;)

    Thanks for writing, Violet!
    ~ Mark