Monday, January 24, 2011

AWESOME! - Schnauzers

What walks on four legs and oozes awesomeness? No, not me pounding my fifth Long Island... Okay, maybe me pounding a Long Island... But this isn't about me. This is about something else... This is about not only Man's best friend, but my personal Besty... I'm talking about the Schnauzer!

Why is a Schnauzer so worthy of an AWESOME posting? I'll tell you why...Cause I grew up with one. Say what you will about what makes a man's dog, how many of your manly dogs have beards? Yeah, none of em. I have a beard, and I'm a man. I think the same logic applies. Did you know Schnauzers were used to hunt rats? That's a pretty dirty job, and only the manliest of animals will hunt down something with diseases, I'd bet your Dobermans and your Rottweilers wouldn't wet their lack of pants at the thought of the "Black Plague"! Schnauzers? They eat Black Plagues for breakfast! At least that's what my dog's breath smelled like... Brushing your teeth is for Poodles. Sissy dogs.

As the Greek gods of old, the Schnauzer stands proud like the pillars of Mount Olympus, rats die in its presence and Holy Light shines upon its already glowing skin!

Maybe I'm biased having had a Schnauzer from the second grade through the end of my high school years... Maybe few would agree... But all I know is my dog, Leo (yeah, like the constellation, equally as awesome), was amongst one of the most loyal and interesting dogs I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. Lots of personality, lots of energy, lots of awesome. What I will say of the mighty Schnauzer... they love doggy treats... Probably more than their owners. That stings a little, I've had a doggy treat... They're dry, icky... Only a real man would enjoy it... I am nothing in light of the Schnauzer... They're just so awesome.

They also come in all shapes and sizes! Whether you're little big or average, they come in three delicious sizes: Mini, Standard and Giant... I had a mini, and good. Lord. They are adorable. I'm not to masculine to admit it... I just want to put them in my mouth and eat them!

I'm gonna cry. They're so cool.
~ Mark


  1. i have one too.. Alfie... or King Alpha.... rasta dog... loves loves treats... people... and esp other big dogs... cant ignore the little big guy.. he will go crazy upset... i love him.. my sweet Alfie

  2. I'm sorry to hear Leo is not by your side anymore. I had one too. He was a Standard Schnauzer and he was called Tufo. Tufo in spanish means something like damp smell... yeah, we couldn't give him a shower until he was 3 months old and that name was my "fantastic" idea when I was only 12... and you know what? it turn out to be an actual fantastic idea! everybody loved him and his name! He was the best dog I ever had. He is now up above sleeping in a really nice and cosy cloud, and sometimes he sneaks into the sky and take pieces of stars and bring them to me in my dreams. I have another Standard Schnauzer now, he's the worse dog I ever had and sometimes drives me crazy but at the same time he is unique. He suffers strong anxiety and also obsessive compulsive disorder, and I think he became this way since my own neurologic disorders started as he can detect them and it is when he becomes anxious and can't stop or help himself. On the other hand, when he is anxious I know I'm going to have an attack and I can go for my medicine. I'm doing my best contacting people to help him out and also help myself so we both can be happy and calm. These dogs are extremely intelligent and attached to their owners in a way I've never seen another dogs do, and I had other dogs. I loved your post and I'm sure Leo is somewhere watching over you =)