Tuesday, March 15, 2011

AWESOME! - Peanut Butter

We all succumb to some form of fetish. A guilty pleasure, an innocent pleasure... A delicious pleasure. Some people like the feeling of play-dough between their toes (someone in this world's got to, right?), others can't get enough reality television (a trend which SERIOUSLY needs to stop)... For most women it's chocolate, for most men it's some kind of adrenaline... For everybody else there's alcohol. But as for me and mine... It's something smoother, tastier and almost devilish in it's tempting nature... Oh yeah, whether you're a Crunchy or a Creamy, it all comes down to that one thing that everything goes well with... Peanut Butter!

Now I'm not going to lie, you give me a spoon and three jars of JIF, you can lock me up for a week and won't hear a peep. I don't need no bread, I don't need no celery n' raisins. I'll eat that succulent veggie byproduct raw and untainted with a song in my heart... But only in my heart, cause I don't know if you've tried it, but singing with peanut butter in your mouth is tricky. I am but a man... A man who loves Peanut Butter.

I'm technically of the "JIF" persuasion, but in desperate times I'll resort to Peter Pan... And in VERY desperate times, I'll even submit to the generic store brand... Only a real Peanut Butter junky can withstand the bland flavor of Shaw's Butter. Or Hannabutter... Or whatever they tastelessly name it. I'm not even sure it's made out of peanuts. But even in times of lesser known butters, it's just another reason to bring my mind to a place where I immerse myself in a tub of JIF, let it seep into my pores, become ONE with that dark, golden goodness...

Then, like a peanut warrior rise from the warmth of its embrace to conquer kingdoms, wrestling with the likes of various Jelly's and Fluffernutters in the most epic and heroic of fashions!


It is in that moment that I chomp down on a delicious PB&J (and/or Fluff and/or Nutella) and relive my youth in the calmest of tranquility... Oh Peanut Butter. You are truly awesome indeed.

Taste buds out,
~ Mark


  1. I love peanut butter too!! My favorite favorite is the honey peanut butter from Peter Pan. But I love smooth and creamy Jif, and also the crunchy kind if I am feeling frisky.

    I also love Friendlies peanut butter sauce over chocolate ice cream. OOOOH YES

  2. I only eat peanut butter if it's in a sandwich, a fudge, a Reese's cup, or a cookie. :P I don't do "peanut butter spoons" as my cousins used to call it when we were kids.

    After reading this, however, I feel the need to try a pb&nutella sandwich >.>

    Also, FYI- You are an excellent writer and I read your updates all the time. :)