Tuesday, April 26, 2011

On Easter...

I imagine I'm a little late on this post… But I mean, Easter is on a different date every year, so maybe if you read this a year from now it'll be right on time! … Right? Yeah, I guess not… But I have an excuse, I've been on a Honeymoon (rather MY honeymoon) for the past couple weeks and I only got back a few days ago… Then the cold weather of New England depressed me too much to really pull together anything creative. Sad times indeed.

In any case, the day after we arrived back in New England was Good Friday… And the Easter festivities commenced! i.e. Come Sunday we were engorged in food and family. Easter's a funny holiday for me… Not that there's anything truly comedic about what it stands for, but I get overwhelmed in how people respond to it. I've said it a hundred times, but I'll say it again… I was raised in church and I am very much a Christian. So for me, every Easter is dedicated to the death and resurrection of Christ. The Jews dedicate this time of year to Passover, recalling the exodus of the Jews from Egypt and anticipating the coming of their Messiah. Everybody else on the planet eats candy and hunts for eggs!

Three very distinct traditions, yet I find myself pulled in all three directions. Like I said, we returned on Good Friday, which is generally when my father (A devout Christian who studies Hebrew customs in his free time) performs a Seder for his church, detailing the specifics of Passover and showing how each tradition points to the coming of Christ, etc… So I get my fill of Passover. Then on Sunday, every church on the planet spends the morning telling people how we should be calling it Resurrection Sunday… If you call it "Easter", you're in for a world of hurt. There's no mention of a magical bunny who poops candy eggs, just talk of Christ dying on a cross, conquering Death, and rising from the grave on the third day.

And don't take this as sacrilegious, but EVERY time a Pastor talks about how Christ Conquered Death, this image pops into my head…

The reason most churches shy away from the name "Easter" is because it comes from a Babylonian god named "Ishtar" … Not 100% on the spelling, but you get the gist. Ishtar was the god (goddess?) of fertility… Which when you think about it, explains a lot about how Easter is generally celebrated. Bunnies are about as fertile as you get and eggs should be pretty obvious as well. Which brings me to Easter Egg Hunts… Apparently that too is a Babylonian custom where people "Hunt" for fertility… So next time you're curious why your children are getting pregnant at such young ages, think about how many eggs they found the previous year…

Though I'd be careful about how you go about opening those plastic eggs… It's not always candy…

Easter is an oddball in the Holiday lineup… Especially when you think about how many movies have been made about it. Name the first Easter movie that pops into your head… HOP, right? When did that come out? This year? Think about another Easter movie… There's practically NONE. And it's one of the few holidays that doesn't have some sort of Horror film attached to it… Even Independence Day managed to get Aliens!

I have a suggestion… Alien Doom Bunny Pods.

I guess that's really all I have to say on the subject… Easter's just a funny time of year. So many cultures, so many oddities, so many images in my head… I call it Easter solely because it's easier than saying "Happy Resurrection Day, my brother!", my parents won't say it, but we're both on the same page I think. We know what we're celebrating... It ain't fertility. Come to think of it, with the amount of abortions in the country, I don't think ANYBODY is celebrating their fertile nature... Just sayin'.

Savior Suplex!
~ Mark


  1. That. was masterful!
    I had no idea that you wrote so well, Markus!
    Truth + Humor = Bravo.