Saturday, February 26, 2011

Resident Evil Twitter Response

Last night I decided to watch all four Resident Evil movies... And write my thoughts on Twitter as I watched them.. @markmarianelli


- Just bought Resident Evil: Afterlife... I think I'll watch the first one instead...

- Resident Evil. Awesome because she kungfu kicked a zombie-dog in the face... Awful because she KUNGFU KICKED A ZOMBIE-DOG IN THE FACE. HUH??

- Michelle Rodriguez has been bit 5 times and is still amongst the living... I like that in a woman. Wait, now she's blind... I like that too.

- Hate it when a character asks a question, and the reply is "It's a long story" We know! We've been watching your long story, answer the man!

- Paul W.S. Anderson really likes filming his wife naked...


- ResEvil:Apocalypse - Tooo mmuuuccchh slloowwww moottiiooonnn.

- ... And the acting is on par with a porno. ... Note to self: Make Zombie Porno.

- Apparently Zombies bite through Kevlar. Rotting zombie teeth are durable.

- NEMESIS... proof that the T-Virus can infect a big rubber suit.

- Yes Zombies eat people and bring forth apocalyptic dark ages. But let's remember the greatest villain of all... Powerful corporations.

- Sweet Buddha, am I seriously watching a Zombie martial arts showdown?

- At least they were right to rip-off the ending to 28 Days Later... You know the one... The Zombie movie that didn't suck.

- Aaaaaaand she's naked again. You're a sick man, Paul W.S. Anderson.

- Wait... Anderson didn't direct this one... Shame on you, Alexander Witt, that's somebody's wife!


- ResEvil:Extinction... Starting out exactly the way the first one did... More. Naked. People. Dub Tea Eff.

- Wait... This is the exact same intro as the first one... I hope that means we're ignoring the last one.

- Oh my good lord it's a pile of dead MIlla's!! ... No wonder the world is dying.

- Can you really electrocute a Zombie dog? ... Wouldn't that just make them more Zombie...ish?

- Ashanti? Really? ... The Zombies will never go hungry again.

- Oh my good Lord... Johnny Cage!! FINISH THEM! ... Linden Ashby, you are legend.

- Ashanti got eaten by birds... That's just embarrassing.

- If you're in a Zombie wasteland and a girl shows up who can kill zombies with her mind, Are you really gonna moan about how she scares you??

- Finally these movies have a little gore!!

- Having a hard time understanding... Somehow Umbrella Corps Zombies in blue jumpsuits are more... Zombier than the other zombies?

- Dangit... Johnny Cage got Fatality'd:/

- Er... Zombality'd.

- Gotta' be honest, ResEvil: Extinction was pretty freaking awesome. FINALLY. Let's hope Russell Mulcahy directs the next one too!


- ResEvil: Afterlife - Dangit... Paul W.S. Anderson is directing this one again. Fingers crossed... And ready to gouge my eyes out.

- Wow... 5 minutes in, about 20 something kills and not one of them chalked up to a zombie... wait... 21.

- Bad guys in sunglasses, clones that kill in slow motion, shootouts in lobbies, martial arts, Samurai swords n' gunplay. This is the Matrix.

- Haha... The guy from "Prison Break" is in a prison... Oh, sweet irony.

- This movie has faded to black 5 times now... Paul W.S. Anderson, mix it up, bra'... Powerpoint bar swipes are all the rage I hear...

- Pyramid Head is in this movie?!

- Aww, they're kissy zombies:)

- It's like a half hour long movie and they made it movie-length by shooting the whole thing in bullet time...


- It really IS Agent Smith!!

- Excellent use of A Perfect Circle... poor use of... Movie making?


I'd stick to the Living Dead series,
~ Mark

1 comment:

  1. Ya know, Star Wars had nothing but plain old wipe transitions throughout the whole thing. I don't understand why I can't have my fade to blacks :(